Did you know that you can over-Bernie? Well, YOU can’t, but this guy can. Born by the womb of America and the seed of Chuck Norris, Mr. Brand will roundhouse kick you in the face if you tread on him. Never to be confused with a vampire, Nick usually passes out before sunset.

Nick is a self-proclaimed “lawyer” who lives in Council Bluffs, Missouri.

Yo' boy goin' to Vegas.

No stranger to wilderness, Austin's family tree is an actual fucking tree. Fish are his brothers; ducks are his sisters. The wolfpack is honored to travel with a dude who was likely raised by real wolves.

Since May 22, Las Vegas has yet to see a love hole like Austin's.

Fuck Edward and Jacob. Team Makyle will eclipse your wildest dreams. Like most girls say, "I just want a guy who will show up." Lucky for them, Makyle is always there for a party. If you want craps, he's on your pass line. If you want roulette, he's on your 13. If you want beer, he will hold your bong to the sky.

Makyle currently serves others so that one day he may be served.

Ever think genetic engineering has gone too far? You will. When the Rocky Mountains were inseminated by diesel fuel, this 6'4" silver bullet was born. For 26 years, he was breastfed from the teet of Harley Davidson and cradled by the arm of Henry Ford. Put your four bangers away and bow to all ten cylinders of Mr. Ingram.

Remaining true to the original reason for his conception, Bryan builds power plants...generated by his abdominals.

Despite numerous requests to leave him home, the wolfpack is honored to welcome back the Kraut. This man of nobility will never sell out and even accused his fellow Nazis for being "too commercial" with its carnage. At the craps table, the wolfpack can expect Kuss to bring a blitzkreig of winning rolls and obscenities that not even Schindler could list.

Mr. Kuss is the owner and operator of Kuss Industries, Inc.

While Matt is branding our meat, the world of video games is branding him as the greatest virtual football player this side of the Mississippi. Only Vegas video poker stands in the way of his cyber domination.

No mortal can TRIANGLE over his wit, CIRCLE around his strength or R2 past his bear-like grip. Instead, the wolfpack SELECTs this man to START his Las Vegas journey with the other MADDENingly attractive pack of wolves.

Ever go horse racing with a wolf? You can. Just grab a chair at the table of Mr. Nipple and pick your suit. Brett is the jockey to our Seabiscuit and the nipple to our breasts. Without him, craps is just crap.

Brett is the veteran of the wolfpack.

While some can't live without Las Vegas, Vegas can't live without Mark. Not even Las Vegas can have lights without the power of Nelly. He is the heartbeat of Sin City and the pulse of the wolfpack. While most gamblers are hitting on tens, tens are hitting on Mark. No seriously, their tits are huge.

Mark has committed his life to counseling kids...about how to be more like Mark.

You can take the wolf out of Las Vegas, but you can't take the Las Vegas out of Danny. Danny is back for another crap-shooting, roulette-spinning, horse racing, beer-shotgunning, pool-swimming, wedding-audience-proposing and hotel-ruining Vegas vacation. For the first time, he can legitimately tell the craps dice that daddy needs a new (fill in the blank).

Danny is not legally responsible for the content of this website.

Hide yo’ wife! Ha. No, seriously. This cougar bait will sweep your bride and her wedding party off their feet if he finds them. While you're at it, hide your old furniture. He will find it, turn it into a beautiful work of art and give it to your wife as a gift. Jake will make anything you’ve ever done with your life feel meaningless.

When he’s not helping old hags feel young again, Jake enjoys photography, design and making interior design look masculine.

Question: If men turn into werewolves at midnight, what do werewolves turn into?

Jason.

Jason is a wolf among cubs. The hair on his chest has hair on its chest. And when you were growing your first pubic hair, Jason was donating pounds of his hair to build homes in poor Italian villages.

In 2011, Jason was elected to represent the wolfpack in the nation's capital. May God have mercy on our country.